Archive for June, 2008

For some people the hardest thing to say is “Hello.” aka: come into my life. Add to it, change it, open me up and get to know me. For others the hardest thing to say is “good bye”. Two very simple words that no matter what will change your life. Whether it be in a huge, permanent way or in the tiniest way that changes you without you even realizing it. Then there’s the in between. The good bye’s you aren’t forced to admit but know they are happening, cannot change it, and then take awhile to finally say those words, mean those two words, and accept those two words. It can feel like you’re completely breaking and it can be very painful but one day you just out of the blue realize you have to say them to yourself and then in some way to the other person.

I wish I could say I’ve reached that point. I want to be at that point but I’m not there. So I push forward, hoping that day comes soon, praying it comes soon. Because the other person is not coming back. They no longer want me in their life so therefore I must say good bye to them in mine. Not there yet…….

2 A.M
Snow falls on the city
white on white
It’s the color of hope
on an unforgiving night
you kissed me into ruins
sin on sin
now i’ve gotta love your love letters
written on my skin

CHORUS:

I can’t tell the stars from the downtown lights
If i said I was truly over you
my heart would say amen
but I’d give in to the cold caress of 2 am.
If I admit I can’t get used to this
will my heart break again?
as i fall into the waiting arms of 2 AM

VERSE 2:

someone’s scratchy music through the walls.
sirens weavin’ thru the streets
i must have missed your call
gathering up these nights
black on black
i know your voice like it’s my own
and it makes my heart go slack

CHORUS:

I can’t tell the stars
From the downtown lights

If I said I was truly over you
My heart would say amen
But I give in to the cold caress of 2 AM
If I admit I can’t get used to this
Will my heart break again?
As I fall
Into the waiting arms of 2 AM

Oh
If I said I was truly over you
My heart would say amen
But I give in to the cold caress of 2 AM
If I admit I can’t get used to this
Will my heart break again?
As I fall
Into the waiting arms of 2 AM
Of 2 AM

**I’m working on bringing the funny back…..

Yesterday I had one of those classic, what were you thinking, giant fuck up moments. I, being the genius that I am, decided to wear my ipod into the bathroom stall at work. Jamming out I stood up, went to pull up my jeans, and “plop”! Turning I just stared at my ipod sinking to the bottom of the damn toilet. Now being grossed out and horrified that my ipod, an extension of myself that never ever leaves my side, could be dead.

Of course I fished it out, dried it off, and after consulting Google, did not try to open it but learned to put it in a bowl of uncooked rice. Apparently it draws the moisture out. Who knew? Today I carried to work my Tupperware of rice and ipod and dragged my ass over to the Apple Store. Now my apple store is at The Grove, which to those living in the real world outside of LA, this is the fancy, yet great, outdoor mall that you can spot any celebrity at during the day. Yes, ppl celebrities actually never ever work. Big surprise, I know. So there I sat. Hoping that my genius aka: mac fixer would take pity on me and save my pod. Luckily the guy just wanted to get the F’ out of there so he swapped mine out w/ a brand spanking new ipod. Happy dancing ensued. Ok self contained happy dancing.

But this people is why you should dump your damn, always breaking, virus infecting, media sucking PC’s into the dumpster. They are shit and when they break they never ever work correctly again and it takes weeks plus hundreds of dollars to fix them. BUT if you spent a few more dollars and bought a Mac when it broke you take an hour, maybe two and magically it’s fixed. AND if it can’t be fixed um well you get a new one. OR if you’re software is outdated, you smile, are polite and Oh, oh they will give you thousands of dollars of upgrades for FREE!!!!!!

Grow a brain and qut being cheap and just buy the damn Mac. Trust me you’re problems will be over.

http://www.apple.com/

To the 2.5 ppl who might be reading my blog sorry for the lack of posts. I’ve honestly just have had nothing to say and no desire to be funny about the nothing. But here’s some of the latest crap in my life…

1. My sister is filing for divorce or has? I’m not sure. Why you ask? Well because apparently I don’t get to know the details because I suck at being a sister. Now I could write on that subject for years but it’s too frustrating. I’m sad for my sister and it’s really not a good situation. Not that she’s being harmed in any sense of the word but she is very unhappy. Probably the unhappiest I have ever seen her but I cannot fix this problem and my advice is worth shit cause I’m the “little” sister who knows nothing. Bitter about that; yes. My family has asked me to “take one for the team” and call her to get screamed at for my supposed suckage. Anyone think that sounds like fun? I don’t.

2. I cannot read nor speak the following languages: Spanish, German, Swiss German, Polish, Portuguese, hebrew, Russian, Italian, French, Dutch, Chinese, Japanese or any other language. I never thought this would be such a problem in my life but now that I’ve started making international television it’s become the bane of my exsistence. I spent today attempting to read Polish while listening to an awful Russian pop star sing. By 6pm I wanted to rip my eyes out and go running around in circles in my office.

3. The Itching. I want to rip my skin off from the itching. Oh yes the itching but no rash that I’m now taking prescription drugs for and medicated lotion which isn’t working! For now the doctors think it’s from stress. Yes, my work, family, and sort of recent break up has manifested itself as me embarassingly clawing my arms and legs. It’s so bad that I cannot even stop doing it when it’s inapproporiate. Liek today while I sat in a meeting with my boss I couldn’t stop scartching my arms. He looked at me like I was some disease. The scary part? If this isn’t caused from stress then it could be kidney realated which is a death sentence to a diabetic. Not good. Keep your fingers crossed that it’s just stress from the ex.

Well none of that was funny now was it? Shit. I’m working on it.. Patience you 2.5 ppl.