Life

Thought I’d share this little story with you all…..For the past week I’ve been stuck in a tiny room w/ my bosses attempting to fake being busy with work when I’m obviously not. This is awkward, tiring, and boring. Each day a very nice girl, Erin, comes and takes our lunch orders. Most of the time I do not order due to financial issues. The past two days I have ordered. Yesterday one boss grabbed my lunch for me. No biggie. Today I get told to get my own. Ok sure. I walk into the kitchen area look around see no food. Oh there’s a bag on the floor maybe it’s in there. Um nope. All the while there’s a table of 4 guys staring at me. Not watching, staring. I know this is in part because there are like 1 girl for every 10 guys and most of the girls aren’t cute or they aren’t nice. Ok fine. I’m eye fodder for the editing nerds. Fine. Still can’t find my lunch. So I start looking in the fridges…um no, just yesterdays leftovers. By this time I know I’m fucking this up and I start getting that ohhh shit this is awkward feeling. Quickly I cover it by grabbing a Lemonade which I didn’t want. Finlay when turning around I see the food on a table apart from the kitchen. Ok great, first problem solved. Shit. Everything in numbered and our order paper isn’t htere listening my number! I stand there like a moron for a few minutes then sort of guess hmm….there’s 3 salads guess I get to open all three to find mine. finally food! Grabbing a fork and napkin I hurry my awkward ass out of there.

Ohh it’s not over yet. Salad is huge. I’m siting on an uncomfy couch and having to eat off the coffee table. Every other bite I’m dropping food on the carpet and discretely attempting to pick it up. Finally my boss notices and gives me a look like is she for real? Sadly yes. This is my awkward life. Dear God I hope I find someone who thinks this is funny and cute otherwise I am doomed. Now back to my elephant sized salad……

Ok first just because I’m watching CSI: Miami which yes is not great TV. First what is up w/ Callie Ducane (sp?) lips? Collagen looks bad people just do not do it! She has fake, plumpy gross lips. Second do not try and use Long Beach with it’s obvious crayola crayon street signs as Miami. It’s obviously not Miami. Lord.

With that off my chest….here’s the real post…..

There is a time in our lives, usually after college graduation, where we have to decide what the hell we’re going to do w/ our lives. Now after college this usually means figuring out where you’re going to move and then finding a job. Later it’s picking a partner, getting married, and deciding to have kids. I was unusually lucky because at that time of my life I already knew what I was going to do. Less than two weeks after graduation I packed up my life and moved to LA. I’ve been here every since and always with the same goal to produce feature films.

What exactly am I suppose to do when it’s a little over a month til my 29th birthday and I have no freakin’ clue what to do with my life? This past year has been one giant wake up call and I have no idea what I’m going to do. In less than a week I’m going to be unemployed and I’ve discovered that I have no real world job skills, no useful degree, and really no experience which pertains to any job openings I’m finding. I have little savings, due to my decision to live like a 22 yr old for several months, and in a very short time if I do not find work I’m going to have to decide….do I move home? Oh yes, Southern Illinois. Great place to find work in the entertainment industry. Shoot me. But I am almost 29 and this is when I’m suppose to be able to support myself and not have to call my parents to bail me out. But I have a nice giant rent payment and a new fun $500 cobra health insurance bill each month.

Always save, never live alone, and for fuck’s sake do not get sick! You will be SOL in a very, very short time. Now I can pretty much move anywhere I’d like. I have no real attachments here ie. partner, kids, house. Oh wait there’s my leased car…..yeah there’s a reason to stay. I really don’t like any cities in the United States mostly cause I’m not a huge fan of our country at the moment and I really hate cold weather. So I’m thinking Canada?! OR since I miss my BFF more than anything possibly Chicago. I do have some other friends there but we haven’t seen each other since college graduation so I’m sure they all have their own lives now.

In the end, it sort of sucks being an “adult” and I have no freakin’ clue what I’m going to do.