LA

For the past few years I’ve only come home for the holidays for a week due to work. Each year I feel rushed and that I never am able to spend any time with my parents. This year I thought my job was ending right before the holidays so I booked almost a month at home. Then my job was extended which is great for my bank account but not so much for my trip. I left for home thinking it was going to be ok to work from home; esp. since most of my work is done via. Internet. Yesterday I found out this was not an option.

Here’s where I get annoyed. First my boss has been nonstop bugging me with requests but let it be known that though I was spending a decent amount of time fulfilling his demands I would not be paid unless in LA. Um….that sucks. Next, apparently some CDs have gone missing and my elephant brain has decided to fail me. Not good. Therefore I’m spending $400 to fly back a week early to find said CDs and perform other fun tasks. To be honest, most of the time I will probably be sitting in our cold offices twiddling my thumbs questioning my existence. Really, I might have an hour or two of work a day right now. It’s unbelievably frustrating!

BUT I need another job and soon so being “unreliable” is not an option. I have to be “available” in order to make a good impression in order to be considered for another job. Plus the difference between a week’s pay and the cost of the ticket isn’t horrible. AND I’m trying to be grateful I even have work. Many, and I mean many, of my friends are out of work and it’s not looking like that is going to change anytime soon. Um…recession! Love it! Mainly I’m just sad to have to leave my parents and not finish everything I wanted to accomplish here. I want my other week. I have a feeling I will not be able to have any type of vacation for the next 6 – 8 months which is daunting. Yes, I know normal ppl live those lives but normal ppl do not have to run around trying to find Revolutionary war experts to interview in the next 24 hrs at a battle site (that I only have GPS coordinates to locate it)and then clear said battle site with the National Park Service. Did I mention I booked that and three more impossible shoots in a day. Yes, that’s my average work day. Oh…and did I mention that in the past I have held a cargo plane at LAX so my giant poster comps could get on board so that they arrive in London by 9am the next day? I can get anything anywhere within 12 hrs as long as I have a limitless budget. Yes, these are the job skills you learn in La La Land. Too bad they do not translate into a normal job skills set.

Ok first just because I’m watching CSI: Miami which yes is not great TV. First what is up w/ Callie Ducane (sp?) lips? Collagen looks bad people just do not do it! She has fake, plumpy gross lips. Second do not try and use Long Beach with it’s obvious crayola crayon street signs as Miami. It’s obviously not Miami. Lord.

With that off my chest….here’s the real post…..

There is a time in our lives, usually after college graduation, where we have to decide what the hell we’re going to do w/ our lives. Now after college this usually means figuring out where you’re going to move and then finding a job. Later it’s picking a partner, getting married, and deciding to have kids. I was unusually lucky because at that time of my life I already knew what I was going to do. Less than two weeks after graduation I packed up my life and moved to LA. I’ve been here every since and always with the same goal to produce feature films.

What exactly am I suppose to do when it’s a little over a month til my 29th birthday and I have no freakin’ clue what to do with my life? This past year has been one giant wake up call and I have no idea what I’m going to do. In less than a week I’m going to be unemployed and I’ve discovered that I have no real world job skills, no useful degree, and really no experience which pertains to any job openings I’m finding. I have little savings, due to my decision to live like a 22 yr old for several months, and in a very short time if I do not find work I’m going to have to decide….do I move home? Oh yes, Southern Illinois. Great place to find work in the entertainment industry. Shoot me. But I am almost 29 and this is when I’m suppose to be able to support myself and not have to call my parents to bail me out. But I have a nice giant rent payment and a new fun $500 cobra health insurance bill each month.

Always save, never live alone, and for fuck’s sake do not get sick! You will be SOL in a very, very short time. Now I can pretty much move anywhere I’d like. I have no real attachments here ie. partner, kids, house. Oh wait there’s my leased car…..yeah there’s a reason to stay. I really don’t like any cities in the United States mostly cause I’m not a huge fan of our country at the moment and I really hate cold weather. So I’m thinking Canada?! OR since I miss my BFF more than anything possibly Chicago. I do have some other friends there but we haven’t seen each other since college graduation so I’m sure they all have their own lives now.

In the end, it sort of sucks being an “adult” and I have no freakin’ clue what I’m going to do.