Archive for July 9th, 2008

Each and every year I attempt to have a drunken good time on the 4th of July but alas I never seem to accomplish this goal. Sadly this year was not unlike the rest. Ok well to be fair it was great until about 5:30pm and then things went bad. But I had high hopes especially since I was going w/ a friend who i always have fun with and I just thought, “Hey, this is a good first step.” Wrong, wrong, so very wrong.

I went to party on a sail boat in the LB Marina w/ my friend, her sister & boyfriend (#1), and my “mini” and her boyfriend (#2). Sadly Boyfriend #1 turned into the type of guy I ran the F’ away from my entire life. Seemed harmless at first but then he kept drinking and drinking and drinking some more. Now he’s beligerant, and beratting his gf and her sister. Calling her “lard ass” and all of us “bitches.” Plus he could barely walk, kept stumbling around in these giant yellow workman boats. I thought forsure this ass is going to fall into the water (which in the LB is a guarantee bacterail infection).

After hours of humiliation and annoyance by this jerk we finally give up on him, leave the boat, steal the boat keys and go watch the fireworks. having have some “oohh” and “ahh” time, we decided to head back to La La Land but suddenly the gf is like I can’t leave him which pisses off the sister, who’s now drunk. Walking up a giant hill, we attempt to hail a cab to cab it back to the city. Keep in mind this adventure is going to cost us hundreds of dollars but um wait, cells rings and we’re walking back down the giant hill to the marina. Screaming ensues but we’re off home, oh wait now, idiot has taken the boat out to sail, which he barely knows how to do sober, and um where are the keys? More screaming, more driving around, some road rage where I thought some nice friendly Long Beachers were going to SHOOT US! and we’re back at the marina, “looking for the keys.” BUT those keys well on the way back down the giant hil they got thrown in to the street. An hour and half later, the drunk is found, no keys but we’re headed home.

Keep in mind this entire time there are 5 people in the Tahoe, 4 of which are saying nothing but continusoulsy txting each other. Obnoxious yes but there was no way in hell I was uttering one damn word. A day later I come to find out the drunk, is actually a drunk. Oh he’s in AA and he slipped but oh wwait it was apparently ok at first cause it was holiday. Um WTF?! GF dumped his ass. Oh and I’ve never seen a more sobering sight than a 44 yr old stumbling over his giant feet yelling obsenities. Shit, that should make anyone sober. Happy 4th of July!